Tethered Trust Page 5

  “Don’t hurt yourself.” Master J’s voice was annoyingly soothing.

  I opened my eyes and looked into his. I yearned to lean up and brush my lips with his, but I knew that was a bad idea. My thoughts were sluggish, causing me to feel first and think second. It was a horrible battle of conflict with no resolution. His brows furrowed, giving me the feeling that he could see into my thoughts.

  Master J slid me between him and Mistress X then stood. He didn’t look at me again as he went about sorting through his bag. Although I’d never admit it to him, I missed his touch and the way that he held me close. I didn’t want to give him the wrong idea about the possibility of us. Some guys didn’t know when enough was enough, and I knew that from experience. Mistress X gave me the rest of the chocolate bar and made sure that I drank both bottles of water that she held.

  I watched as Master J began cleaning a leather table that was on the other side of the room. His shoulders flexed with each movement, and my fingers itched to feel them as they moved. He broke the trance when he moved to head over to his things. He lifted his black bag and stopped in front of me on his way out. He squatted to eye level and I pulled the blanket tighter around me. His hand rested on my calf and he stroked lazy circles with his thumb. Talk about short circuit!

  “I’m worried about you experiencing sub-drop. That scene was pretty emotional for you, and I don’t want to take any chances. You are to text me tonight before you go to sleep to let me know how you are feeling. If you start to feel moody, lonely, disappointed, or like you’re being bombarded with a bunch of negative emotions, you need to let me know.” He pulled out his cell phone and looked up at me after a few seconds. “What’s your number?”

  I hesitated to give him any more information than what was needed. I glanced over at Mistress X and she nodded to me, silently letting me know that it was safe. I reluctantly gave it to him, but I did notice Mistress X and Renee added it to their phones as well. I didn’t know if this was a good thing or a terrible one. The experience that I’d craved was becoming more complicated by the minute.

  “Keep yourself hydrated. That means water, Gatorade, vitamin water, and natural fruit juices. Don’t be afraid to eat a bit of chocolate here and there until I see you next week.”

  “Next week?” I couldn’t control the disturbed look on my face.

  “Yeah. Be here seven p.m. next Thursday. Don’t be late.”

  Before I could respond, Master J stood then walked out of the room. I was no closer to getting answers than I was when I woke. I didn’t know his name. I didn’t know why I wanted to be near him, knowing that any kindness from me to him could be mistaken for more. I didn’t know why he pulled away from me and deposited me onto the couch like I was some two-dollar whore. Maybe he did truly think that I was a bad girl. I had questions and no answers. I wanted to go after him, but this was just ridiculous. I didn’t know him, but I wanted to.

  “Well, let’s get you treated so I can get home and to bed,” Mistress X spoke from beside me.

  Renee helped her stand, and they walked to the table that Master J had just cleaned. Renee handed her a tube and they looked at me.

  “Come on girl. Up here you go, face down.” Mistress X patted the table and waited.

  It took a couple of attempts, but I finally stood up. That’s when I realized that my body ached all over. I managed to get on the table face down as instructed, but who knew if I could get back up. Mistress X began massaging my body with a tingly oil. Then she carefully applied cream that was cool to my back, butt, and thighs.

  “Master J marked you pretty good. You’ll have to keep your shoulders, back, and thighs covered unless you’re into that sort of thing.”

  I froze, making Mistress X laugh.

  “You make sure to tell him thank you for his gifts. Nothing is permanent, and you should heal up nicely in a few days. You even have rope markings to savor before they disappear. You’ll be sore, so take a little something if you need to.”

  I looked at the marks on my wrists and looked toward the door that Master J had exited through. “Mistress X, why did Master J leave?”

  “Master J doesn’t give after care to submissives that aren’t his. I’m surprised that he stayed as long as he did with you. But that scene was pretty intense.”

  “Why am I meeting him next week?”

  “My guess is that it’s because he gave you what you needed this week, but you were so far gone that he couldn’t use the scene to help you deal with whatever it is that you’re going through. It seems like you might need a few more to break through all the emotions that you’re trying to hide from. Want to talk about it?”

  “Not really. I just wanted that feeling of freedom again.”

  “And that won’t last, sugar. You need to deal with the greater problems before you become a hazard to yourself and others.”

  I couldn’t speak because my emotions felt too close to the surface still. I wiped away a tear and hoped that we could drop the subject. Maybe coming here was a bad idea. I wasn’t looking to tell everybody what was going on with me. I just wanted a reprieve. Telling anybody anything could put them in danger. No... Mama, Angelica, and I could just keep on trucking the way that we have been; under the radar with no relationships to sacrifice.

  “Mistress X, thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to help me tonight. I really do appreciate it.”

  “Foolish girl, I can see the escape plan formulating in your mind already. You will show up here next Thursday, and that’s an order. Being alone and running from your problems won’t get’cha anywhere.” Mistress X smacked my butt then backed away from the table while I rubbed the spot where the new pain was settling. “Get dressed.”

  I rubbed another sore spot as I made my way to my pile of clothes that had been neatly folded onto a chair. When I was dressed, Mistress X and Renee hugged me.

  “Text us to let us know all is well with you tonight. We texted our phone numbers to you in case you need anything.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Thanks again.” I walked down the hall to the main room which had grown quiet.

  The main lights were off, and Master H was sitting by the doorway. I hurried by the scary Dom and made my way to my car. I sighed in relief that the night was over and that my normal humbug of a life could continue. I drove towards my house and circled the blocks surrounding it a few times before I pulled into my driveway. I looked to make sure that no one was following me before I went inside. Mama was there watching TV, and I kissed her on the cheek as I passed.

  “Angelica in bed?”

  “Sound asleep, honey.”

  I walked into Angelica’s room and watched her as she slept. After a while, I kissed her chunky cheeks goodnight and headed into my room. I closed the door and thought twice about taking a shower. I was tired and didn’t feel like holding myself up anymore. I stripped, put on a night shirt, and climbed into bed. Every single bit of it was a chore. I closed my eyes, but then I realized that I hadn’t texted Master J. Even though I had no plans for meeting him next week, I could still let him know that I was safely at home, right?

  I texted Mistress X and Renee and received an okay back. I saved their phone numbers in my contacts and went on to the one message I’d skipped over. Master J’s message was a silent promise that I chose to save for last.

  Him: Don’t forget or I’ll leave you sore for a week.

  Me: Yes, Sir, I’m home safely in bed. Thanks for the session.

  Him: It sounded so much better in Spanish.

  I froze and blinked twice.

  Me: Spanish?

  Him: lol goodnight, kitten.

  Me: Goodnight, Sir.

  Spanish? What was he talking about, and who said he could call me kitten? I growled at the screen before I reread the conversation. Though I didn’t want to admit it, I was warmed by the small exchange. Too bad there’d be no “next week.” I held my pillow close and closed my eyes to find sweet dreams.

  Chapter 7: Danielle<
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  Isabella was running late for the bus. It was her turn to purchase breakfast, but I hoped that she got here in time so that we didn’t have to walk to school. I looked up the street, hoping that I wouldn’t see the big tank before I saw her. Leaves crunched behind me and I smiled knowing that it was Isabella. I turned to see a man approaching instead and I turned my head to hide my disappointment.

  “Hello, pretty girl.” He said as he sat down beside me.

  I smiled politely but something about him made my skin crawl. He was handsome but that meant nothing to my instincts. He appeared to be in his early twenties, tall, and like god hadn’t blessed him with all his marbles. If he had, he would have known from my body language that I wasn’t interested in chatting. He wore a t-shirt, baggy jeans, tennis shoes, and a bomber jacket. His ball cap was black and red and matched his clothes. I could tell that he had money or at least whoever purchased his clothes did. There were logos on everything he wore. It didn’t impress me, though. I wasn’t interested in whatever it was that he was selling.

  “My name is...”

  “Oh my god! I thought I was going to miss the bus!” Isabella said as she ran up to the bench out of breath. The bag from Nicholson’s swayed on her wrist.

  “Did you run the whole way here?” I laughed.

  “You know it! That beat walking to school.”

  Isabella was holding her knees and trying to catch her breath. I couldn’t blame her. It wasn’t as if Nicholson’s was close. I don’t think I would have made it.

  “Friends?” The guy asked.

  “Best friends.” Isabella corrected. “Who are you?”

  “Alphonso.” He turned to look at me, completely uninterested in Isabella.

  “Nice to meet you.” I responded politely.

  “I feel like this is only the beginning.” Alphonso looked me over as if I enticed him. Had I just become steak and potatoes?

  “Bus!” Isabella shouted.

  I thanked god for jumping in to save me. I stood and grabbed my backpack from the ground beside me. I was thankful that I’d chosen jeans this morning instead of a dress. My Spanish genes had given me more curves than I could handle, and a dress would have been even more tempting to “Alphonso.”

  The bus stopped in front of us and Isabella climbed on first, she needed to hurry. I was anxious because I could just feel his eyes crawling all over me. I needed it to end quickly. The sudden need for a shower to wash away the filth consumed my thoughts. The feeling grew stronger and I looked over my shoulder. Alphonso stood a few feet away, staring at me. I stood motionless while Isabella fidgeted with her bus card, trying to get it to swipe.

  “I’ll see you around.” He said.

  I turned away, hoping that he’d disappear already. I knew that though I wanted either one of us to disappear, it wasn’t going to happen until Isabella got the damn card reader to give her the greenlight. Finally, a beep that meant ‘go’ sounded from the machine and she headed to find us a seat. I pulled my card from my pocket and it went through successfully on the first try. I headed to sit down beside Isabella and she blew out a breath that scattered her bangs.

  “Remind me to see if they can give me another card today. I hate trying to get that magnetic strip to read.”

  I nodded but my focus was on the man that stared into the window just before the bus pulled away. His eyes were haunting, and I hoped that I’d never see them again.

  Chapter 8: Vanessa

  The days flew by. I spent Friday, Saturday, and Sunday with Angelica. We went to the movies, an ice cream parlor, and even took a walk by the river. We chatted about all of the things that six-year-old girls think are important. Things like cartoons, class assignments, how much she loves her Nana, and how she’s a very big girl who needs ice cream to help her grow. I laughed at how mature she was getting and wished that Danielle was here to see my baby girl.

  I texted Mistress X daily. Renee called to check on me, to tell me about her day, and to gain insight on mine. Generally, I spoke about school and my internship which wasn’t all that exciting.

  By Monday night, I was having nightmares again and wondering why I hadn’t heard from Master J. He’d texted me the first few nights, but I hadn’t heard from him since. Tuesday was a real bummer, all day. I was having anxiety and was feeling the need to cry but I wasn’t sure why. I couldn’t shake the sadness, though I didn’t really have anything in particular to be sad about. I tried not to pay it any mind because I knew that it was getting close to that time of the month. Tuesday night’s nightmares were the worst, and I didn’t want to talk about them at all. By the time that Wednesday rolled around, I wasn’t the most pleasant person. So, when Renee called me, I was less than thrilled to speak to her.

  Renee was always positive, and I made it through to the end of our conversation. But I couldn’t pull another conversational marathon off like that if someone paid me a million dollars. My texts to Mistress X bordered on the same, except it was easier to pass off my distress through messages. I slept even worse that night and thanked god that I didn’t have class the next day.

  On Thursday, I got a call from Renee around ten-thirty a.m., and she was more than just a bit enthused. I gritted my teeth and tried not to “end call” her.

  “Hey!” Renee chimed in bubbly after I answered.

  “Hey, Renee. What’s going on? Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

  “Me? Nope!” She giggled. “What are you doing today?”

  “Nothing. I don’t have school, so I figured I’d just chill out for the day.”

  “How about you come shopping with me?”

  I groaned to myself. I was looking forward to moping and watching old movies while eating Hershey cookies and crème bars with vanilla ice cream. Shopping wasn’t a part of all the fun I planned to have by my lonesome.

  “I don’t know... I haven’t been shopping in a while.”

  “I see. Well, I need to stress shop, and I need somebody to keep me company.”

  “Don’t you have anybody else that can go?” I swung my legs over the bed and massaged my temples. I really just want to lounge, and shopping wasn’t lounging.

  “Probably, but I want to hang out with you today. You seem like you need to stress shop, too.”

  I needed to change the subject quickly. It was either put on my big girl panties or be prepared to converse about my mood. There was no way that she was going to let things slide if I said that I wasn’t feeling up to it.

  “Not really, but I guess I can come and hang out for a little while.”

  “Awesome! Do you need me to come and pick you up?”

  “Nope. I’ll meet you wherever.”

  “I’ll text you the address. See you in forty-five!” Before I could object, she’d already hung up the phone.

  I groaned loudly. I got up out of my bed and shook my head at the craziness that I’d just ventured into. I went into my stash and took a bit of money out so that I could buy myself something decent if I saw anything. In less than twenty-five minutes, I was on the road and driving toward my destination. Once I got there, spotting Renee was simple because she was sitting out front looking impatient.

  “Ohmygod! I didn’t think you were going to make it.”

  I looked at my watch and then at her. “I’m five minutes early.”

  “Who cares? You’re finally here!”

  I looked confused as she hugged me. Is it possible to be late getting to the mall? Maybe there was an event or something. “Did I miss something?”

  “Only that it took you forever. I thought that I’d have to hunt you down.” She pulled my arm and we headed inside the mall. She took me to a popular lingerie store and I paused at the entrance.

  “I didn’t know we were lingerie shopping.” Internally, I groaned. My couch was calling loud and clear.

  “Where do you stress shop?” The look on her face was priceless. Was someone offended?

  I shrugged. “Walmart?”

  “I can tell.” She mumb
led.

  I gasped. “Did you just say that?”

  Renee walked over to me and completely skipped over my question. I frowned, growing even more irritated. “What are you wearing tonight?”

  “Tonight?” Who cared about tonight when I didn’t know if I could make it through the next five minutes with her? This was getting less and less fun by the moment.

  “Yeah, for your scene.” She pulled me further into the store and we started browsing the racks. Rather she browsed, I frowned at the prices.

  “Who said I was going?” After he ditched me last time, who even knew if I wanted to see him again. Besides, I’d only asked for one session. He ASSUMED that I wanted more. That was his problem.

  “You’re just going to leave Master J hanging?”

  “I’m going to cancel. Plus, I never agreed to another session.” Duh!

  “Why?”

  “Because I never wanted to do it from the beginning with him.”

  “Vanessa, are you kidding me? Let’s be honest, he’s hot. Who wouldn’t want to spend time with him? Aaaaand... he’s a nice guy.”

  Finally, something we did agree on. Master J was smoking hot. Spending time with him was easy, too. However, I barely knew the guy. He did come with Mistress X’s seal of approval, but I couldn’t just trust all of that.

  “He’s okay...”